Sorry to everyone who’s enjoyed the last 130 years of science and culture journalism, but Disney needs the money to fund Toy Story 9
Warning for cis men: if a trans woman invites you to play dungeons and dragons do NOT accept. She is attempting to induct you into her coven, and likely infect you with cooties
Out of my way loser I’m boutta get it
I am no longer a cis man
His childlike whimsy and commitment to the bit have enamored me wholeheartedly
Tragedy! You set out to read a negative review of a piece of media you dislike, only to find that the critic is being completely unfair to it and making a bunch of bad, unsupportable arguments.
#yeah. this is actually the worst#because if someone likes something for the wrong reasons and you like it too you can just sort of shrug off their opinion#but if they dislike it in a way that's unfair it's actually infuriating because now you've been put in the position#of defending this absolute dogshit piece of media - even if only in your own head - against their unreasonable complaints#it's the exact opposite of catharsis
Me: “Disney live action remakes are soulless cash grabs that deny the original writers and artists the credit they deserve”
Some fucking chud: “Exactly! They never should have started wokeifying all their movies”
Me:
so this happened last night amd i was too tired to process how bizzare this was b ut
yeah. it is your bad.
btw if you find yourself dehumanizing any person or group for any reason you've already lost
slasher horror: you better not have premarital sex or gerald "the stabber" douglas is gonna getcha
creepypasta: once there was a teen named alex and he was bullied so hard that he and the acid disfigured him so and he started killing everyone so they call him george the attacker
/x/: there was the skinwalker who stole my best friend's voice and then man door hand hook car door
r/nosleep: my wife was hungry for raw meat and then she gave birth to The Satan. he looked me in the eyes and said "don't go outside past midnight or else the eyeless ones might notice." but it turns out i never had a wife or son and the world ended 5 years ago on this very night.
r/twosentencehorror: i ran out of bloodmilk for my cereal. luckily, the creature provides.
mascot horror: this is silly wiggles, the candy giraffe! explore the silly wiggles candy emporium after dark! the secret ingredient is Love™! also the hidden video tapes will reveal that "Love™" is actually the copyright name for the consciousness of tortured children, mixed with the ground organs of factory workers.
indie horror: i can't describe this, there are only 7 pixels so idk what's going on
me for the first 33 years of my life: my dad used to say "what would happen if you woke up on the titanic?? think about it" when he was tucking me in at night from at least age 5 and up, a form of psychological torture
me in my 33rd year of life: my dad optimistically thought i would have $250k to blow on something stupid by now and shut that shit down at the jump in the 90s
this was his response 5 seconds later
